I'm chatting with a very nice Windows 10 tech support agent. But she made me crack up with this: "Please stain on the line while I check your account."
OK, but wouldn't that be rude??
Wow.. you must have had one really huge problem if you stained yourself.
I have never been asked for a sample by anyone from Apple. Windows tech support agents are VERY thorough.
Its for that poop therapy that I once saw on Vice...